Grieving Parents Ask: Should They Freeze Their Dead Son's Sperm?

In early April, Avi Harush experienced the devastating news that his 20-year-old son, Reef, a soldier sent to Gaza, had died. The Israeli military officers who delivered the news also asked if the family wanted doctors to extract and freeze his son’s sperm. The idea of preserving a living memory of Reef provided some comfort to Mr. Harush, who agreed quickly. “It was something to hold on to, knowing that we would be able to have Reef’s child,” he said.

More than a year since the start of the Israel-Hamas war, the human toll has been immense, with 43,000 Palestinians and upwards of 1,600 Israelis, including soldiers, killed. Families across Israel are grappling with grief. Israel has introduced a new protocol offering bereaved families the option to retrieve and preserve the sperm of deceased soldiers. This technology, once rarely used before the war, now offers a glimmer of hope to those left in mourning.

In stark contrast, the health system in Gaza has been severely impacted by ongoing military actions. Hospitals are barely functional, with surgeries being performed without anesthesia, making such measures inconceivable for grieving families there.

Since the war began, Israel has conducted more than 200 posthumous sperm retrievals. Many soldiers were young and unmarried, with 81 percent of requests coming from their parents. The debate surrounding this practice involves ethical questions about medical autonomy and the possibility of children conceived posthumously. Critics argue it violates soldiers’ autonomy and could bring a generation of children who never knew their fathers. Others feel the bereaved families’ desires should take precedence.

The extraction technique dates back to a 1980 California case. In Israel, this procedure was first used in 2002. By waiving the requirement for court petitions, Israel’s Ministry of Health recognized the brief window for viable sperm retrieval.

Families facing these decisions often find comfort in preserving the possibility of future grandchildren, even if unsure about using the sperm. “If my son’s girlfriend tells me, ‘I want to use his sperm,’ it will make me happy,” shared one father.

Though legal permission is no longer needed for retrieval, using the sperm for conception requires a civil court’s approval, necessitating clear evidence that the deceased wished for children. The standard for this proof is high, particularly for parents, with legal processes taking years.

Medical professionals involved in these procedures at Sourasky Medical Center have mixed feelings. Performing such tasks is emotionally taxing, as they try to remain detached from the identities of deceased soldiers.

The ethical dilemma persists, with some families demanding rights to use this technology. Mr. Harush believes it is the government’s responsibility to fulfill his son’s wishes for children, as expressed in Reef’s writing. “Reef wanted to be a father — this is for sure,” he asserted. “The country has to take responsibility.”